Soooo..... Long time no write, eh?

i mean really long time. Years. My last post was a year before college and here i am, year two!!

Oh gosh. College.

Ugh.

The main thing getting me to write again right now happens to be a very college sort of thing.

My roommate.

Now this isn't one of those weird roommate feud stories. The opposite maybe. I freaking love her. We are pretty much the same person really. I mean there are difference but nothing that clashes. I just wish i could speak up for my self sometimes.

See this week has been more on the crappy side and all week we were planning on having a Doctor Who marathon. So the week is finally over and today is supposed to be the day!! yay!! The day starts perfectly late around noon. And it starts with a surprising invitation. My roommate invites me to go out with her and a friend of hers to carve pumpkins! yay!

I think this would be a good point to tell you that my roommate doesn't often invite me to go out and do things with her friends. I'm more the "stay in friend" or the "you have a car so lets go grocery shopping together friend." which makes sense considering we are just roommates and she needs time away from me to be with other friends.

But thats why this invitation was such a surprise! So i accept and have a really fun time carving pumpkins thinking there is still plenty of time for Doctor Who.

But then my roommate goes out with the friends we just carved pumpkins with after dropping me back off at our room. This is also understandable because one of the friends is from out of town so she wants some time with her! but i still felt a bit like the little sibling they tolerated and then finally got some "big kid time."

For the next part of the story know that we already had plans to do this. And by this i mean go to the store to get groceries. So after my roommate gets back from being out with these other friends we go out on an adventure to walmart. We decide on walmart because we have been discussing the idea of getting fish for our dorm. So this is two for one because walmart has groceries AND fish! :D

So after this lovely adventure we find ourselves at about 7:30. At this point we have just dropped off our groceries and need to bring my car back to the garage which is a fair distance away from the dorm. BUT there is an ice cream store close by that we have a coupon for!! so we decide to get ice cream and then Doctor Who it up!! :D

But whilst enjoying said ice cream my roommate gets a text from a friend asking her if she wants to go get food. Now this should be no big deal because its 8:30! She could go and come back by 9:30ish? Thats still a good few hours before one of us passes out. So i tell her to go and we can Doctor Who after!

So back in the dorm all alone again i check up on tumblr! then MasterChef. Then Grey's Anatomy. Then tumblr again. Then Shinee and Big Bang. And its 12:30. I know from past experience that if we are lucky we will get through one episode before some conks out.

Now all this time while she is gone i start to get antsy. Maybe something came up? Maybe her her friend was having a hard time with something and just needed a friend. Or maybe someone was hurt or they got mugged??? (You never know!)

But alas, that is not the case.

After eating, my roommate and her friend decide to go back to Friend's dorm and watch a movie.

A movie of which my roommate got really sleepy and decided to just come back to our room and just go straight to bed.

I just wish i could have texted her to come back or see if everything was alright. Or told her when she came back that i thought we were going to watch Doctor Who.

Sigh.

Sometimes i just feel like a puppy that wants all of her attention or something. Because if i am just the puppy (stay with me here) she is the master who has a job and friends she needs to pay attention too. I mean she did give me attention today so i should be happy, right?

Sigh.

Maybe its just because its Doctor Who. I mean its a little bit ridiculous how much i love that show. I am so excited to get someone else to watch! Especially here at college! i was excited to have someone down here to watch with! But we haven't watched in WEEKS. and i really, really needed that after this week.

Or maybe i am just my roommates weird fangirl who just needs to calm down and be happy with what i get.

Yeah......

regardless here we are.

I just felt really homesick this week. Nothing was going right and i needed someone there for me. Its not my roommates fault though. i didn't tell her i just needed someone there.

Thats my problem though.

I just cant speak up for myself.

When i am upset i just keep to myself because i don't want to make others upset. I didn't want my roommate to feel bad because i spent the night alone when i really needed someone.

I miss Tessa. (Holla Girl!) I miss my mom. I miss my sisters. I miss my dad. I miss my dog. I miss Gilbert.

Gosh dangit why do i miss Gilbert??? I just wanted to get the heck out of there for years!!

I guess tonight i will pray for some comfort and hope for a better week. i can be strong on my own. I do it all the time and its time to do it some more.

Good night all.

Stay positive.

Lots of Love,
Rin

P.S.
Dearest Roommate, if you ever read this, i love you! and i'm not mad. i just needed to rant.